|Cory Tyler of Stone Sour|
Halfway through the show I started enumerating the reasons I knew I was too old to be there.
1. The first, and probably most obvious is I thought "I'm too old for this." I didn't mean that I was afraid I'd break a hip, I meant "I'm a little too mature to be screaming at a rock band, avoiding mosh pits and trying to get the screaming teenager to stop hopping her tiny self into my back, hoping a guitar pick is flung my way." But I did all those things. And enjoyed it... just a little.
2. When my back and feet started hurting from standing completely still (except for dodging moshers) I told my husband "Damn it! I meant to take some Aleve before we came, I knew I should have taken Aleve." Yeah. Those words actually left my mouth.
3. I wanted to drag a couple of completely out of control teenage girls home to their mothers and report their behavior. The one who kept jumping INTO me, on purpose, trying to get 2 inches closer to Papa Roach. I finally stuck out my elbow and she went around and started convulsively dancing into someone else's back. The other kept yelling "Hi YAH!" and pretending to karate chop and kick people in front of us. Which could have started a horrible fight right in front of me, and I didn't really want to get anyone's nosebleed on my shirt.
4. Waiting in line to get into the concert hall a woman in front of us was telling us about a car accident her daughter had been in where her 5 year old grandson was in the front seat (both had been badly injured) and I said "Kids aren't supposed to be in the front seat until they are at least 12." She tried to say that if he had been in his car seat he would have died because the car seat was ejected from the car and I said "Then it probably wasn't installed properly."
5. When Papa Roach yelled "You motherfuckers LOVE this! You motherfuckers NEED this!" I thought first "I have fucked precisely zero mothers," and then "I'm pretty sure that psychologists would agree that YOU are the one who needs this in order to fill a void probably left by absent parents and being 3 feet tall."
|Papa Roach, screaming his tiny head off|
|My view of the pit that opened up right where I was standing|
All in all, it was an uncomfortable, scary, awesome night. I just scrubbed the smell of pot and tobacco smoke off of me, and now I'm ready to be a mom again. Thank goodness. I don't belong at metal concerts.